odds and ends

Last night, at yoga class, I cried.
I cried while chanting the mantra "I feel safe, I feel secure. I am safe, I am secure" holding one hand over my heart center and another on my abdomen center, I cried.
I cried changing poses. I cried because I feel like my security and safety are in limbo rignt now. I cried because I feel that I've been judegemental and condascending.
It's very enlightening when you realise that people's experiences make their viewpoints on life differ.
I believe that my life experiences have made me who I am today
Xicana*Muxer*Lesbiana*Artista
These are the ways that I identify. My political identity formed by my education, readings, friends and experiences. I'm passionate about queer issues, womyn issues, POC issues. I want to make a differece. My passion for loving women extends and feels like it pours out of me. I feel like taking to the streets for it. I sometimes doubt the validity of other's queerness if they don't have the same type of passion. I feel people don't have anything invested in being queer when they just live their day to day lives without passion. I think that's what makes the difference between gay and queer. I believe that queer puts us all under one big umbrella. Boys, girls, boi's, trannys, femmes, butches. But it's also our political identity. A lot of people can be gay but it takes a certain passionate type of individual to be queer.
I know this has gone from one place to another...just some stuff I had to get out....

To all my sisters, seesters, boys, bois and everyone

I'll elaborate later...but this was heavy on my mind today and this song hit it right on the head. Read the lyrics...

[Erykah] "Lets See How Ya'll Groove to this""Alright"I'm gettin' tired of your shit. You don't never buy me nothin'. See Everytime you come around You got to bring Jim, James, Paul, & Tyrone. See why can't we be by ourselves, sometimes. See I've been having this on my mind For a long time, I just want it to be You and me Like It used to be, Baby. But ya don't know how to act. So matter of fact

[Chorus]I think ya better call Tyrone(Call Him) And Tell him come on, Help you get your Shit (Come On, Come on) You need to Call Tyrone(Call Him) And tell him I said come on Now everytime I ask you for a little cash You say no and turn right around and ask me for some ass Oh, Well hold up Listen partna I ain't no cheap thrill Cause Miss Badu is always comin' for real. And you know the deal. Everytime we go somewhereI gotta reach down in my purse. To pay your way and your homeboys way. And sometimes your cousin's way. They don't never have to pay. Don't have no cars. Hang around in bars. Try to hang around with stars. Like Badu I'm gon' tell you the truth. Show and proveor get the boot. I think ya better, (Call Him) And tell him come on. Help you get your shit. You need to call Tyrone(Call Him)[Erykah Badu]"Hold On"But ya can't use my phone

another dose of craziness..

ay mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know he's a man...but

There's just something hot about Justin Timberlake. Ok, it might be my g/f's obsession over him...but you know what? He has good style and he's not so bad.

I watched the Grammy's last night and let's just say that I was not too impressed with JT's little handheld camera bit. It seemed poorly done and it seemed that it didn't really match what the original idea wanted to capture. It just wasn't that flattering.

It was a good night for Mary J. I always like to hear her acceptance speeches. She always thanks God but she like really means it. I'm glad that she won. She's gone through a lot in her life and it's nice to see that she feels that she's grown.

Well off to work now kiddies.

Days of Past

Listening to Mary J Blige's "Your Child" takes me back
back to the Westchester House
to the days of hanging with the homies on days off
being 22 and being stellar
this song reminds me of Jamila. Why? I don't really know why mabey it's just the way we all used to always sing this song with soo much emotion. The way that her nimble hands looked with her nails and how her hair always looked great.

The Stellar days are long gone and we've all gone our seperate ways. But I will never forget my stellar homies

Tashi
Dre
Van
Monica
Jamal
Garmon
Jamila
Edith
Jason (RIP)

Blogging on the computer and on paper

Last night on the train ride back home. I met this woman. I forgot her name. I know, it's sad, but I wanted to still blog about her because I told her I would do so.

I take the train to work and back and I love it. No matter that my commute used to be 10 min to work and 10 min home, now it's 1 hour to work and 1 hour back home.

I ride the train in the morning with 3 people who are awesome

first there is John. he's a riot. VERY type A personality and always has to tell me about myself. If it's not about him having to call me to wake me up early b/c he hates seeing me put on my make up on the train, or if it's about how he's worried about my time off at work (I've called in sick 3 times) I know he worries because he's a friend, but sometimes it can get on my nerves. I just laugh.

then there is Josefina. I love her. She reminds me soo much of my mother. She works in the garment district in Los Angeles. I believe that she is a pattern maker. She inherited her craft from her mother. She's just really sweet and such a cute little lady

then there is Santiago he is a 50something gentleman who works making shower doors. He's just a quiet soul who is agreeable with everyone.


On the way home, my seester Claudia is usually on the train so we sit together...she usually saves me a spot next to her. This is kind of our bonding time while she listens to her iPod and checks her email on her smart phone...when we talk, people normally laugh. Sometimes they are annoying but last night, we met a really cool lady who thought we were hilarious. I told her that I would blog about the train...so here it is. Turns out she blogs too..but on paper...she showed me this wonderful journal that had pix of her son's bday party at Hangar 18 and pix of her running a 1/2 marathon it was nice to see people document their lives...because honestly..one minute we are here...and the next, we are gone.

Sorry I know I'm obsessed

but isn't she beautiful???

Mantra

My new mantra is: (say it with me)

May you be well
May you be happy
May you be free from suffering.

I hope this mantra will help me have more lovingkindness for my co-workers.

Sara Ramirez

I'm in love with Sara Ramirez from grey's anatomy. This is the ONLY show that I watch every week. I never miss it. She is stunning. And to add to my lust, I have just read an internet rumor that she is a lesbian, I don't know how to confirm that, but all I have to say is that I would turn 'butch' for this woman.=) And Sara, if you are reading this, I love you!

Welcome to LA

this is a little diddy I wrote in anticipation of my girl's move to LA...

Welcome to LA

Let's explore
I'll take you to all
The spots. The LA spots

The Hollywood SIgn
The Ghetty
Mann's Chinese

Romantic Dinners
at Cha Cha Cha's
Brunch at Luminarias

But the best will be
me cooking for you.
Wearing my favorite
Dia De Los Muertos apron.
Donning Tacones while
I make you SoyRizo
YES
SoyRizo with eggs,
waffles and fresh fruit
that we bought at the
Lemeirt Park Farmers Market
earlier that morning.

Dirty dishes will lay
soaking in the sink
while we watch a movie
that just came in from Netflix

Laying under the covers
cuddled up in your arms.
My favorite place.

Welcome to LA.