New Look

So it's was time for a makeover here at CreativeXicana. The last masthead was one that was deeply rooted in transition. Although my transition is not completely over, I am wanting to rid myself of things that remind me of my broken past. My future is bright and I'm in love <3


I also have been wanting to honor Coyolxauhqui for a while now. La Diosa de la luna (the Aztec moon Goddess) I very much ID with Coyolxauhqui. You know..the whole 'bad daughter' thing. The whole 'your brother wants you dead' thing. When I was at the Museo Templo Mayor last year on my trip to Mexico Ciy and saw Coyolxauqui there in stone I cried. I cried for all the times I was never told I was good enough, for all the times that I've had to 'defend' my queerness to other people, for all the times that women have hurt me, and for the times that I have healed and that the women that are around me (my chosen family) have rallied up around me. I feel her power at night when I look at her up in the sky from my El Sereno home. I feel the pain she must have felt when she shattered into pieces, being pushed from a templo by her jealous brother.....

Here's the 'official' legend:
"Coyolxauhqui, is an Aztec Goddess. Her story relates the legend of how the moon and stars were created.In Aztec mythology, Coyolxauhqui and her siblings decided to kill their mother out of shame; they had learned she had became pregnant when cleaning the Temple when a ball of feathers entered her. The resulting babe: Huitzilopochtli (Sun and War God), learned of this plan while still in utero, and before it was put into action, he sprang from his mother's womb fully grown and armed and killed his sister Coyolxauhqui, along with many of his 400 brothers and sisters. He then tossed his sister's head into the sky, where it became the moon, so that his mother would be comforted in seeing her daughter in the sky every night. He also threw his other sisters and brothers into the sky, where they became the stars.It is believed this is a representation of our planet's changing of night to day.Coyolxauhqui is depicted with bells on her cheeks and surrounded by lunar symbols. Although thought of as a young goddess, sometimes her images show her as very old with sagging breasts. A massive statue of her was surprisingly unearthed by electricians in 1978 . It shows her with severed head and hands, just after Huitzilopochtli is finished with her .Historian Marcela Lopez states that the "severed" Coyolxauhqui is "nothing but the various phases of the moon: arms, legs, and a whole composite."Maybe this is why during a full moon- weird things occur....Coyolxauhqui is whole and powerful again! Her name means "Woman With Copper Bells on Her Cheeks", and it is said that when the moon rises full and red you can still see them.She remains a major deity in Mesoamerica, living on in other areas with the participation in all-night prayer vigils- of course, we now find her 'well put together' and fully clothed in the Christian tradition of adoration of the various Virgins. A phenomenon not only for this particular Goddess, as they become transformed by society into what is perceived as necessary 'at the moment' in our world. Thus we have many Virgins and Goddesses."
References: Duran, Fray Diego (Doris Heyden, Translator). “The History of the Indies of New Spain.” University of Oklahoma Press, Norman Oklahoma, 1994.

Coyolxauhqui was found by electricians at the Templo Mayor site on 'accident' the year of my birth (1978) I find this little tidbit so very fascinating..



Gracias Coyolxauhqui por darme el valor de vivir lo que e vivido.

Thank you for shining your light down at me and for giving me the courage and ability to love again after all the trauma and pain.

Save the Date for my next show!!!!!

SAVE THE DATE!!! JULY 11TH 2009 @ L.A. GAY & LESBIAN CENTER, THE VILLAGE
Sappho's Return presents:

"juxtaPOSE: a queer performance art & vintage fashion show"

Take a walk with a current day queer/lesbian couple as they are mysteriously transported through decades 1940 to 1990 and back to present day. They will meet their alter egos in their alter ego high fashions! We will weave runway models and performance artists (including music, dance and spoken word) to achieve this spectacle.

Performers include:

1940's - the Miracle Whips Burlesque (burlesque troupe)
1950's - Anayvette (poet)
1960's - Natasha Dyer (dancer)
1970's - DJ Nova Jade (dj, poet)
1980's - Skim/MC Shay Shay (rapper / singer)
1980's - Moz Kings (Morrissey troupe)
1990's - Hir Bois (drag king troupe)
&
narraration by Pharaoh (poet)

***********************************************************************************
tunes spun by DJ E.Dubb


stay tuned for more details....

Wordless Wed

Femmethology Blog Tour! It's my TURN

I just finished reading both volumes of the Femmethology series! What a roller coaster! I loved the way that the editor Jennifer Clare Burke brought together these stories of femmeness, not only of people who ID as femme, but people that love femmes as well! There is for sure something for everyone in these 2 volumes, whether you ID as femme, love femmes, or have a femme friend.

My fave volume was volume number 2. I felt very connected to it for some reason. My two favorite pieces in this volume were "SBBFF4EVA (Slutty Brown Best Femme Friend 4 Eva)" by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha and Femme Chivalry by JD Dykes.


Leah Lakshmi's poem totally reminded me of all my SBBFF4EVA's and how even though sometimes we're pining for the attention of the same boi/butch/stud, we all stick together.

You
got
my
back

my sides
my front

the top of my wide-open forehead
to the bottom of my chip-toed feet
cause I can't afford a pedicure this week
(or ever)
and I got you
girl your cleavage is all I need to rest my head on
you will drunk drive me home anywhere

This poem actually made me soo emo. It reminded me that as much as bio boy or bois might say 'Bro's before Ho's' like Leah's Femme Shark Manifesto states 'HO's before BRO's ALWAYS!!'
It reminded me of the amazing friendships that I have with my femme girls (Tashi, Anayvette, Jah, Karla, Louisa) and how I would do anything for them and never be drama and try to steal their bois...because they're my SBBFF4EVA and we've got each other's back!


The other story that really hit home was "Femme Chivalry" by JD Dykes. WOW. That's all I can say. I very much related to this story.

“When I suck butch cock,” Elise informed us, “I wear cheap red lipstick, to leave a reminder of where I’ve been.” The room froze. The topic had been sex of the more traditionally lesbian variety,with jokes about how long one could hold one’s breath during cunnilingus. Someone had bragged of a “golden tongue.” But when Elise offered advice on her own favorite techniques, we went silent.
“So how about those Yankees?” someone asked.

If you know me well, you know that the opening line of this story was something that I would say and something that would shut up a room. The starring femme in this story, Elise is not only the type of femme that I identify with, she's also the femme that I look up to and want to become. I could feel the intensity in JD Dykes's feelings while reading this story, this story, for me was not only part love letter to Elise and femmes like her, but also a memoir of the trans formative power that we as femmes have in our lovers' lives (and I can say that with conviction because I've held that power in my well manicured hands before).


Reading these 2 volumes of Femmethology made me not only fall in love again with my femmeness, but also made me look at that same femmeness a bit more critically (again). The first time that I really took a look at my femmeness critically was thru this post at Sublimefemme Unbound (whom I don't know in person, but is my femme mentor of sorts). I learned a valuable lesson in SF's response to my comment. I learned that not only was my femmeness on the outside: ornamented by the way I dress, wear my hair and make up, but also by what's inside and the way that I am on the inside. (this topic has come up again...but another blog post to follow about this subject)


So if you're ready to read some stories that are by femmes, and in praise of femmes, get your copy of Femmethology! (and become a fan on FB for updates on readings in your area) If you're in the LA/Long Beach area, I hope to see you at the Femmethology reading at Viento Y Agua on May 22nd at 7pm!

*fabfemmelipglosskisses*

This took my breath away...

(reminds me of my girl...)

She Knows Me More Than Anyone -Staceyann Chin


She knows me more than anyone: the statement
resounds grand
as if I am more than the sum of what I am
more than what my grandmothers ever hoped for me
and what astounds me
is that she loves me
even
when I cry
even when I am ineloquent
when unable to hold all of her in the small pockets of me
when I don't believe in altruism
when I don't believe in much
except these few causes I carry burning on the frontlines
of the foreign war
when the battles bark uncertain
bombs imprinted with children's first names
Christians waging holy war
snipers gunning for targets never seen before

I don't know how to feel
about the faces
the computer printed pleas pasted on notice-boards
families begging us to mourn more than the death of an era

New York will never be the same
for her she whispers

I will never really be American
nor Afghanistan, but this fight will have to be mine
when it begins, long after it ends
we will remember the faces
filmed out of focus
the names
uncomfortable on our tongue
the mouths beneath the beards
the tears the women cried for the dead
the towers
the long hours of not knowing
who was at work that week
who had been fired the week before

We will remember everything
the smoke
the Taliban
the traffic jams
the politicians who used terror to buy votes
the notes to long forgotten friends
the news that threatened the worst in us
the Christians
who even now still rally for blood

Revenge is mine, sayeth the Lord
And I don't know if he said that
and I'm thinking Allah could be a girl
I wouldn't be surprised
if she sometimes slept with me
in my room with too many windows
she takes up more than half my bed
reminds me to laugh at the little things
tells me I am beautiful
on some nights I believe her
believe in myself
believe that I could learn to hold her
head nestled in the crook of my neck

I grow tall in these moments

The walls around me don't look so permanent
with her finger looped through mine
but I worry that it's only a matter of time
before she discovers I am a coward
inadequate
angry at the world because I was born
with so many parts of me in places I will never belong
I envy those of you
who had the idle years of childhood

I will never be an adult because of a lack of them

I always need someone to make the dark go away
anyone to sway the public opinion
it doesn't take much to make me
doubt that anyone could love me
that she could know the sordid parts of me
and still choose to love
me fork-tongued and frightened of succeeding
I am loving her too
because she can tell me what I will order
before we get to the restaurant
because she knows
I am not much more than
these causes I carry from state to state
because she knows
I cry much more nights than I eat
because she knows I sleep less than I should
because she knows she could
do much better than my broken story
the gory details of how I survived this
how I am still surviving that

she knows how much I really weigh

she knows my feet are made of clay
and still
she chooses to love me.

TGIF

(Friedns and I at the event last night)

Another instalment in the Fab Life of laura_luna:



Last night, I picked up my friend Jah, and we headed over to The Standard in West Hollywood to attend the reception for Staceyann Chin after her reading of her new book "The Other Side of Paradise" at UCLA. I missed the reading at UCLA, and unfortunately, by the time I got to The Standard, they had already sold out of books :(

First of all, I have never been to The Standard before, always hearing about the one in Downtown with their famous pool parties and such. I was expecting a lot from this hotel and oh my! As soon as I walked in, I knew this place was as FIERCE as they say!
Behind the Check-in Desk, they have a live model, just chillin' as if she's in her room, playing on her laptop computer, reading a magazine...in boy short panties and a tank top...of course!!!! The reception started out at the pool area with an amazing view of all of Los Angeles...the crowd at The Standard is mos def a very hip/trendy LA crowd. Not the usual crowd that I hang with, but whatevs! I was there to mingle with the grown and sexy ladies that usually come to DJ One and Mignon's Events anyways! (and Staceyann Chin too) ;)

So here are some pics of the hotel:





Now onto the funny stuff:

So I'm sitting in the little lounge area that they have cleared out for us in these FAB wicker chairs and I see Staceyann sitting talking to some other people in the group of seats directly to our right. I'm talking having a good time and then I notice that she's done talking. I look at her, and mouth, 'I want to meet you and take a picture with you' and then put my hands together and mouth 'pleaseeeee' She smiles, and motions for me to come over and I'm like gaga for her ;) I can't even hold a convo with her...(i know i know...) so I tell her that my girl loves her and that I would love to take a picture with her to send it to her, she obliges and then I get a bit awkward because I'm soo dumbfounded that I don't even know what to say...lol I thank her for her time, then leave to go back with my friends...so blog friends, here is the pic I took with Staceyann Chin (isn't she GORGEOUS?!)

Wordless Wed

A Monday Meme thx Tina!!

Thx to Tina for this little Monday Meme:

Paste the sentences into an entry of your own, change to your answers, then tag me and ten other people. Or Tag any number of people you want.

1. My ex…hopefully is in good health (been having crazy dreams lately)

2. Maybe I should… do some work. (ditto)

3. I love… art

4. People would say that I’m … a FAB Femme

5. I don’t understand why … grrl/boi has to live soo far :(

6. When I wake up in the morning … her voice is the first thing I hear :)

7. I lost my … ability to fully trust people

8. Life is full of … amazing things

9. My past…was turbulent. (ditto)

10. I get annoyed by … closed minded people

11. Parties are … usually hosted by me!!!!

12. I wish life was not …crazyyyy

13. Dogs are … cute if they're little

14. Cats are… animals with cute personalities

15. Tomorrow is … one day closer...

16. I have a low tolerance for … ignorant people

17. If I had a million dollars … I'd pay debts and figure out how to make the million into more so I wouldn't have to work..EVER...

18. I’m totally terrified … of dying alone

19. My partner … is out there somewhere...

20. My life is … amazing, fun, and FAB!!!


I would like to tag: whomever reads this ;)

Where I will be on Thursday evening

Staceyann Chin is coming thru Los Angeles during her big West Coast tour to promote her new book The Other Side of Paradise: A Memoir. THIS THURSDAY, APRIL 23rd, 6-8pm on the UCLA Campus (3400 Boelter Hall). We are also organizing a FREE AFTERPARTY at an exclusive hotel in Westwood so Staceyann can connect with us – the Los Angeles Women’s Community! Here is a blurb about this fantastic black lesbian: Staceyann Chin is a poet and fulltime artist. A resident of New York City and a Jamaican National, she has been an "out poet and political activist" since 1998. From the rousing cheers of the Nuyorican Poets' Cafe to one woman shows Off Broadway to poetry workshops in Denmark and London to co- writer and performer in the Tony nominated, *Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam* on Broadway, Chin credits the long list of "things she has done" to her grandmother's hard-working history and the pain of her mother's absence. Her work has been featured in the *New York Times Magazine*, *The Washington Post*,*Jane* and on *60 Minutes*. She was also a guest on *Oprah* to discuss homosexuality in other cultures. You don’t want to miss this event! STAY TUNED FOR DIRECTIONS TO THE AFTERPARTY! Mignon & DJ One, providing you with Upscale Events for Women

Thank you to Mignon and DJ One for allowing us LA girl the opportunity to hang out with Staceyann! I can't WAITTTTTT

.....

For some reason,
Today. Is. Hard.

Wordless Wed

Dinah Pix (they speak for themselves) there are more...part 2 to come...

Proof that there are people out there that are Straight but not Narrow..

Ok, sooo I'm a big ol' femme who has been planning her wedding since she was 4 years old. (I swear) However, my wedding always had to have something 'different', I want traditional, but off the beaten path. Sooooooo when I found this site I was INSTANTLY Hooked!!!!!!! Today, while I was browsing thru my google reader, I found this little gem (via off beat bride) and let me tell you, I did shed a tear in my office. It's just nice to know that there are people out there who are not LGBT who support our struggle.

*cheers*

If dreams came true/She thinks of Everything

OK...I know this is going to be all sappy and ish, some people might get put off by it, but OH WELL! This is MY BLOG *giggle*

So the lovely GREG from time to time posts text convos between her and her gf. I think it's too cute, so now that the time is almost here, I'm ready to reveal the sappy convos that grrl/boi and I have via BlackBerry Messenger (we're TOTAL Crackberry addicts!)


Me: Baby, How many millions would it take for us to quit our jobs and just be fab queers?

G/B: Hmm...after taxes. We need 3 for homes, 1 for vacations, 1 for wedding stuff, and then about 10 to live on and collect interest..so 15.

Me: Can we live at the Parker in NY in the summer and at the Parker in Palm Springs in the Winter?

G/B: Lol, yes my love we can. But, I am sure that there are some morrreeee luxurious hotels in NY that would be Duchess (me) approved.

Me: Duh, I know, but I can't hog up all the money on just hotel living!

G/B: So what if we just buy a place over looking the park?

Me: Papi, u think of everything! I *heart* you

G/B: I *heart* you toooooo *muah*

view from my office windown part 2

What a beautiful day in LA! It rained last night! Imagine my surprise after a whole weekend of sun in Palm Springs for Dinah! Today, it's sunny. Let's hope it stays that way.

I'm super tired still from the weekend :( I came in late to work. Tonight, I'm going to try and post some of the pics from Dinah (although, my friend Louisa got most of the amazing pictures...)

So, I'm well on my way for my saving $$$$ situation! I went to Fresh and Easy last night and bought items for lunches and dinners! I'm very excited. And it forces me to make time to cook! We'll see how that goes, but I'll keep y'all updated of the savings situation :)

*cheers*

p.s. today is 4/8/09 that means

because I just came back from a Gay-cation and really should be working....

I stole this from Jess over at Jess I am..Thx Jess!!!

Five names you go by:
1. Laura
2. Luna
3. Seester
4. Baby (only grrl/boi can call me these 2)
5. Mami

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Black Patent Pumps
2. Calvin Klein Slacks
3. Ruffled Cream Colored Shirt

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. To get thru this mess of paperwork here at work
2. To get the motivation to work out tonight
3. For May to hurry up and get here ;)


Two people who will probably fill this out:
Steal it from me! (agree)

Two things you did last night:
1. Got Home from Palm Springs (Dinah!!!!!!!!!!)
2. Talked to Grrl/Boi

Two things you ate today:
1. Salad
2. Sandwich

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. Mom
2. Grrl/Boi

Two things you are doing tomorrow:
1. Work
2. Laundry

Two longest car rides:
1. from LA to SF
2. From LA to Las Vegas (I don't really 'do' car rides, if I can fly there, I will)

Two of your favourite beverages:
1. Vodka Tonic
2. Vodka Cran

Special Offer for Hector Silva Artwork

Hey everyone,
Here's a special offer for the closing weekend of Hector Silva's solo show (which I curated) at the Kyoto Grand Hotel in Downtown LA. If there are any pieces of Hector's that you would like to own, mention Sappho's Return in your email to him (you can view his work at http://www.artbyhector.com/) and he will give you a 20% discount on ANY piece. So, go check out his work at the Kyoto Grand Hotel http://www.kyotograndhotel.com/ or go to Hector's website and enjoy the 20% discount on ANY of his pieces! (and YES you can get his pieces even if you are NOT in LA) :)

p.p.s. and YES I'm working from Dinah at 2:32am

Happy Birthday *sung in Monroe sultry voice*

Happy Bday to My faveeeee on Air Politico (AKA reason to get home by 6pm to kick my feet up and watch her with a cocktail in hand)